Friday, April 13, 2007

3007 AD

Date: January 15, 3007.

donkeySOUP(dS) is on top of Earth…Mt.Everest summit.

Traditionally January has been a bone chilling month atop Himalayas and how the hell is he there. Has he reached the self-actualization stage ??? May be…

It is the only place on Earth; which still has some snow (atleast in Jan) and his journey has to end on an ice-covered mountain top (as pre-determined).

Looking back, it has been a wonderful (!) journey of 1000 years…Exactly about 1000 years back; he got full control over the happenings on Earth. He mastered controlled death (CD) on this day and by default got full control. Earth links (ELs) believed (should I say assumed) him as the ever-expected god and fell for him. Fortunately he was still sensible and absolute power did not corrupt him.

ELs convinced dS to part eternal life (CD) for them too. For the process to start, he created a separate lobe in the brain for ELs; which contained the CTU (Central Telepathic Unit). On April 13, 2007 he reached Mt.Everest to process the referendum: “whether ELs need to convert to CD en masse or not”.

As expected 99.99 percent of the population opted for CD !!! As the communication was on telepathic mode, the CTU Server of dS was at its peak performance during those 35 seconds. 35 seconds were required as people like Poonam (who got a confirmation about her pregnancy the previous day) had to communicate with the tiny CTU in her womb as well as its genetic father, collate and process the data to arrive at a final decision.

The sensible (!) ones who opted out of the CD race were allowed to have their natural death. However they were labeled and cordoned off to a remote place in the Amazon basin.

dS then did a similar exercise at Challenger Deep and Kalahari. At Challenger Deep he had to wait for 59 seconds, as the turtles were also there.

At dusk, he was happy with the way things were shaping up. He also commended himself for being sensible in holding on to the power of annulling the CD (if a situation arise). After all he is a wacky INTJ.

Going forward, over the years many changes happened on the earth:

Human travelled from Chennai to Chicago without any artificial travel support. They ran faster than Cheetah to replace a motor-vehicle. Had endurance like a Camel to travel long without being exhausted. Flew like an intercontinental Siberian Crane to cross water bodies and mountains. Poonam and her child used these intersectional applications to visit the child’s biological father at Amazon basin.

New life formation was banned to protect the ecology. Sex hormones were made inactive. Apropos, population growth was a past. Sex organs became redundant and started shrinking. Women were happy, because they got relieved of menstrual irritations and pregnancy related vomiting.

The first wave of pink slips started with Sanitary Napkins manufacturing companies. It had rippling effect on cotton growing markets. More and more farmers attempted suicide and many succeeded in their attempt. Insurance companies went for a toss.

The Cheetahs got into a gloomy mood and were psychologically affected, because the humans humiliated them by running faster. Many of them attempted suicide by jumping from top of mountains and people at the valleys were happy. They traded on Cheetah skin and made money. Deer & Rabbits made lots of fortune (food) by playing a betting game. The game was on identification of next Cheetah, which will attempt suicide.

Airlines survived some more years, as few had not perfected the art of flying and some couch potatoes, relied on airlines.

Many more developments followed…

Going super forward, what made dS to reverse all those developments of the past 1000 years and attain self-actualization ???

Some believed that Coeing, Birbus, Thell, Fxxon Mobil, HM, Gord, Ookia, Notorola and few more influential companies convinced dS to relent…

But the truth was…

next: 2259 AD

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