Saturday, April 28, 2007

2880 AD... a near death

Part V (to read previous chapters click here)

dS is on his way back. The shuttle will re-enter earth in 3 minutes. dS felt something unusual happening. His thought processes are going haywire. He is not able to concentrate. He could feel something unusual happening in his CTU server.

“B…S” – shouted dS. An attack on his CTU server. He recuperated and started thwarting the attempt. Group of ELs are on an all out attack. He somehow managed to shut all the intrusion points and quickly rebooted the server to 5th level, where no one can even dream of penetration. Simultaneously, he also got into the CTU of the attackers and analyzed their next intention. When he understood their next step, it was too late. The shuttle will blast in 5 seconds. dS immediately switched on the emergency protective cover around him. Before he could think of next step, it’s all over.

dS is now floating in space…alone. Fortunately he had stationed another one for emergency purpose at Mars. He sent the message for its release. Though ELs are not aware about this alternative vehicle, dS did not want to take any chance. He ensured that it emits signal, which are known only to him. It will take another 1 hour to reach. He started analyzing the weak points.

Yes. It should have started the previous night. dS felt comfortable then and had lowered the firewall setting to level-3, because at level-4 his approach will be more mechanical and that may not help him mingle with MLs. That opportunity was used by a group of opportunistic ELs. They had intruded into his server and would have come to know about dS’s plan for Earth on his return. That made them to take this drastic step. The moral – never take anyone lightly…

dS then started planning his next steps. Once that was over, his thoughts went back to Mars and the two days of his stay there. The kind of people he met and finally about the courtesan. What if she…??? A junior dS on Mars soil !!!

Before he could fantasize further, the alternative vehicle had come. Itz time to move on and prepare for an interesting war back home…

Thursday, April 26, 2007

2880 AD…a rebirth

Part IV (to read previous chapters click here)

April 2880 AD - dS was received by 6th generation MLs and then introduced to the 7th & 8th generation MLs. Representatives from different regions had come to meet dS. Wow what a great occasion it was for dS & MLs.

dS was then escorted to a cave situated at a beautiful mountain range. It was the community center for MLs from that region. Party time was announced for the night. Leaders from different regions presented the unadulterated progress that had happened in their region over the years. Population had increased, at the same time resources have been maintained too. The central as well as the regional ERP systems worked effectively to weed out any imbalances & keep pace with the expansion. GM technology was used judiciously. The result was zero-inflation economy.

The events that unfolded after the presentation were fun & frolic… Champagne, Red Wine & Draught Beer were the principal beverages for that night. dS & MLs enjoyed that night to the core. It was winding up time and dS been informed about the services of courtesan. It’s been long time… Oh man, that was one among the best nights for dS !!! Itz then dS felt, why the oldest profession in this universe is still active. Fortunately in Mars, courtesan service is reserved only for those who are single (ie after the natural death of their wife).

Night was calm; and the breeze was heavenly. Somewhere someone was imitating Kenneth Gorelick…and dS slipped into sleep zone.

A soft melody of a cuckoo woke him up in the morning. Smell of jasmine invited him outside. Wow, what a scene it was… cherries, dewdrops, mist and the cuckoo song. He lighted a cigar and started savouring the moment. A glance down and far gave him the glimpse of true nature. A cheetah at its best and an unfortunate deer subdued…nature at its best.

After breakfast, dS was taken around the county and shown its cultural leanings. Animals & plants were valued as part of the system. There were logs with smoke where MLs hang the meat on a wire and smoke all the day and use them for a week. Eat fruits off the tree. Rock art for artistic MLs, thru which they conveyed the custom, stories, song & dance of the region. There were rock shelters, stone tools & cemeteries. Fortunately there was no religion, because for every ML, the question “who created god” has been embedded into their brains.

dS also noticed snow, charming ladies, passionate lovemaking and pregnant women. They were good signs and gave a strong indication that MLs have an enriching life ahead… This self-reliance and purity in MLs gave confidence to dS to return back to earth.

In the mean time, he fell in love with Venus !!!

26.04.2880 – Night flight to Venus sorry Earth, because he has some unfinished work there…

next chapter

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

2259-2880 AD

Part III (to read previous chapters click here)

2459 AD - 200 years have gone since the four IPBMs destroyed Mars…During this period the situation on Earth was worsening day after day. The mad rush for technology was taking its toll. dS felt that the time to act has come…

On the positive side, about 2% of the ELs approached dS to reset the development process to zero and take them back by 10000 years. However being a minority, their wish was voted down. dS had other plans for these 2%. He put them on ‘revive the mars’ project and they were christened as MLs.

The base stations at earth as well as the satellite pictures confirmed that the maximum temperature in mars has come down from plus 60 degree to plus 30 degrees. During this transition process, H2O bearing silicates have given way for formation of water bodies too. The CO2% had also surprisingly come down to 40% from 95%.

It was then decided to change the genetic/dna composition of MLs, so that they sustain in high CO2 environment too. After 3 months of trials on monkeys, it was tested on a ML who volunteered. The clinical trial went on for few more months and then successfully applied across (on all the MLs).

May 2460 AD – All the MLs blasted off from Kennedy Space Centre, Dombarovsky base, Kourou-French Guiana & Sriharikota in 50 GSLVs to Mars. It included representation from all the species; who volunteered to live an enriching life there without corrupting the basics. Upon reaching there MLs confirmed to dS about the safe landing and their distribution as small groups across Mars. dS felt happy…

420 years which followed that event; were among the worst phase on earth. Water bodies started shrinking. EL scientists worked more on bionic advancements and less dependence on nature, because the global warming started eroding the nature to the maximum. Most of the consumer goods lost its importance due to technological advancement. Genetically modified ELs could sustain without nourishment for months together. Food and liquid were modified in such a way that there was no wastage at all. This was done, as no one was interested to clean toilets & garbage. Those businesses which were only dependent on toilets had to shut down.

Airlines were a past. As people used more of telepathy, ELs slowly lost control over voice/sound. This, compounded by less dependence on food for sustenance, resulted in jaws getting jammed and no one cared about it too. It was bad news for dentists. As ELs preferred wings to commute, the lower part of the body slowly lost its strength and importance. ELs were not able to stand on their legs for more than 5 minutes. Footwear companies suffered the most due to this. Worst followed in many other consumer goods based industries. Unemployment rate was increasing day by day. Compound Annual Slowing Rate was getting worse and by 31.03.2880, 70% of ELs opted for Death and perished. The sectors, which still showed robust CAGR were the ones, which dealt with telepathy software/hardware and bionic component manufacturers.

During this downturn there was one song; which ruled the charts.
“He said son you are a bachelor boy
And thats the way to stay.
Son, you be a bachelor boy
until your dyin day…”

420 years of literal jail for dS on Earth and it is time for him to visit Mars/MLs and evaluate the progress there.

April 2880 AD – dS lands on Mars and a mass reception awaited him there…

next chapter

Thursday, April 19, 2007

2259 AD

Part-II (3007 AD-part I)

For 150 years since 2007, ELs enjoyed CD based life in Earth. As death was under their control, morality went for a toss. In 2157, a kind of dissatisfaction started setting in with the ELs and they approached donkeySOUP (dS) to explore options beyond earth. dS gave permission to explore Mars.

As earth had more water (oxygen), life was revolving around it. If that were the case, is there a possibility of other forms of life in Mars, which revolve around what is readily available there?

Subsequent year’s studies were based on this assumption. CO2, which was abundant in Mars, was dissected in various forms & forums and finally in 2257 it was found that life is very much available in Mars. However it was not in human form. The form was not visible to human eyes. A hyper sensor picked up the signals and a link was established with Martians.

2258 – A group of ELs blasted off to Mars. Negotiations with Martians to convert a part of Mars for ELs habitation failed and the group returned empty handed. ELs were agitated and demanded immediate action. dS was approached. dS was against any action and respected Martian way of life. However ELs were hell bound to retaliate. A referendum was called for.

After long time, the CTU server of dS will face heavy traffic. dS for obvious reason gave 107 seconds for decision making, hoping few would think and react. Unfortunately it was not so. Within 5 seconds, 92 percent had registered their vote for retaliation. At the end of 107 seconds, the voting percentage read as 97 percent in favour of retaliation, 1 percent against and 2 percent not registering their vote. dS gave permission to the representative decision making body to take a call on the type of action to be taken. They decided on destroying the life form on Mars !!!

March, 2259 – Preparation was on for the launch of IPBMs from 4 different locations. On 19.04.2259, 4 IPBMs blasted off from Kennedy Space Centre, Dombarovsky base, Kourou-French Guiana & Sriharikota. Mars’s average temperature was –63 degrees C and max was 20 degrees C. Hence the approach was to increase it to 60 degrees C and it succeeded. By Nov-2259, all hyper sensors installed at different base centres in earth confirmed the good news for ELs and obviously the bad one for dS… Extinction of native life form of Mars was confirmed telepathically to all the ELs and result was seen in the streets & sky. It was enjoyment everywhere.

dS felt bad for the native Martians and decided to review Mars surface after some time for new life formation. Gestation period was set at 200 years.

That evening he had 4 bottles of Castle Lager. The first three gave him solace and the last one the boost he needed. With lots of good things for Mars (running in his mind), dS decided to hit the sack…

He heard the following from nearby building:

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it till my fingers bled…

May be the EL who was playing it, belong to the 1 percent who voted against…

next: 2259-2880 AD

Friday, April 13, 2007

3007 AD

Date: January 15, 3007.

donkeySOUP(dS) is on top of Earth…Mt.Everest summit.

Traditionally January has been a bone chilling month atop Himalayas and how the hell is he there. Has he reached the self-actualization stage ??? May be…

It is the only place on Earth; which still has some snow (atleast in Jan) and his journey has to end on an ice-covered mountain top (as pre-determined).

Looking back, it has been a wonderful (!) journey of 1000 years…Exactly about 1000 years back; he got full control over the happenings on Earth. He mastered controlled death (CD) on this day and by default got full control. Earth links (ELs) believed (should I say assumed) him as the ever-expected god and fell for him. Fortunately he was still sensible and absolute power did not corrupt him.

ELs convinced dS to part eternal life (CD) for them too. For the process to start, he created a separate lobe in the brain for ELs; which contained the CTU (Central Telepathic Unit). On April 13, 2007 he reached Mt.Everest to process the referendum: “whether ELs need to convert to CD en masse or not”.

As expected 99.99 percent of the population opted for CD !!! As the communication was on telepathic mode, the CTU Server of dS was at its peak performance during those 35 seconds. 35 seconds were required as people like Poonam (who got a confirmation about her pregnancy the previous day) had to communicate with the tiny CTU in her womb as well as its genetic father, collate and process the data to arrive at a final decision.

The sensible (!) ones who opted out of the CD race were allowed to have their natural death. However they were labeled and cordoned off to a remote place in the Amazon basin.

dS then did a similar exercise at Challenger Deep and Kalahari. At Challenger Deep he had to wait for 59 seconds, as the turtles were also there.

At dusk, he was happy with the way things were shaping up. He also commended himself for being sensible in holding on to the power of annulling the CD (if a situation arise). After all he is a wacky INTJ.

Going forward, over the years many changes happened on the earth:

Human travelled from Chennai to Chicago without any artificial travel support. They ran faster than Cheetah to replace a motor-vehicle. Had endurance like a Camel to travel long without being exhausted. Flew like an intercontinental Siberian Crane to cross water bodies and mountains. Poonam and her child used these intersectional applications to visit the child’s biological father at Amazon basin.

New life formation was banned to protect the ecology. Sex hormones were made inactive. Apropos, population growth was a past. Sex organs became redundant and started shrinking. Women were happy, because they got relieved of menstrual irritations and pregnancy related vomiting.

The first wave of pink slips started with Sanitary Napkins manufacturing companies. It had rippling effect on cotton growing markets. More and more farmers attempted suicide and many succeeded in their attempt. Insurance companies went for a toss.

The Cheetahs got into a gloomy mood and were psychologically affected, because the humans humiliated them by running faster. Many of them attempted suicide by jumping from top of mountains and people at the valleys were happy. They traded on Cheetah skin and made money. Deer & Rabbits made lots of fortune (food) by playing a betting game. The game was on identification of next Cheetah, which will attempt suicide.

Airlines survived some more years, as few had not perfected the art of flying and some couch potatoes, relied on airlines.

Many more developments followed…

Going super forward, what made dS to reverse all those developments of the past 1000 years and attain self-actualization ???

Some believed that Coeing, Birbus, Thell, Fxxon Mobil, HM, Gord, Ookia, Notorola and few more influential companies convinced dS to relent…

But the truth was…

next: 2259 AD

Thursday, April 05, 2007

art, MADern art, economy & inflation...

Basic economy as we all know is simple. A farmer produces and sells the same in the market for reasonable profit. A small world...

And then came the complex economics. A B-School educated guy will sit in front of his laptop, uses complex inputs (like the uninvented technologies to be used for farming in future, the productivity of GM crops, effect of Iraq war on energy bills, global warming and the rain pattern, time taken by the farmer to piss, et al) to arrive at a figure which this farmer will produce after 5 years. And he will do commodity trading based on that figure. Assuming these input factors as permanent, scores of multi-millionaires will trade on these at premium prices and analyze it at business channels to confuse the commoners. This is a kind of inflation (complex) !!!

The above pattern is now seen in every field. Am NOT against it, bcos it is a kind of dynamism (though false) !!!. Change is constant, you see...

One such field, where such pattern is getting prominence is Art. Modern Art is a kind of inflation. Most of the people (all walks of life) to whom i've spoken (in private) have acknowledged that they don't understand a shit of this modern art, but will acknowledge in public that they could understand the theme, to escape embarrassment. 'Modern Art' artists POUR some paint (as children do) on a canvas, give a meaning to it in their mind and give a big picture of the same in public. A market (inflation) is created. Look at the pictures given below:

(art - raja ravi varma). You can FEEL it

(modern art - unknown). Something is there

(modern art - unknown). Here you only SEE it and break your head !!!


(MADern art - donkeySOUP). that was my creation, bcos i wanna be a billionaire too !!!

local economy over international...

Was going thru the Economic Times and felt like having something. Ordered coffee and vada from the nearby snacks stall. This guy makes mouth watering crispy vada and has a huge fan following. After few minutes, the chotu came with the vadas and steaming coffee. The vadas were hot & crispy that it need to be taken like this instantaneously (sometimes raw approach is so exhilarating). Forget the decorum and plates !!!

When i saw those vadas over ET, i thought is this the triumph of "local economy over international" and my socio-economic mind started working. How much will this person earn every day? Am sure, he sells atleast 1000 vadas everyday. That works out to a saving of cool INR1000/day (vada alone) after meeting all the operational expenses. INR30000/month (saving) for a 4th class fail...

Compare it with the guys with education from best business schools and their ET knowledge, who incur losses in crores thru their stock market analysis. hahaha. What a weird world this is...and we proclaim that upliftment of downtrodden will mean doom !!!

From no-age to stone-age to iron-age to IIT-IIM-age to TCS/Infosys-age, we evolved from the scratch. No one was born with PLATINUM spoon. We evolved from zero and may leave this world with zero. Then what is this big fuss about. Let every tom, dick & harry be given a chance to evolve. Given a chance, they may also evolve from being a stone spoon user to a platinum spoon user. Afterall every student currently at IIT or IIM or AIIMS had a common ancestor who evolved from no-age !!!

Seems i've let my weird thoughts wander too much. Coming back, i enjoyed my crispy vada, steaming coffee and the M&A based inorganic growths in ET...

p.s: my earlier post " happiness & prosperity-a full circle " is a related reading.